2008

“The one serious conviction that a man should have is that...”
— Nicholas Butler (1862 - 1947)

Billboards you will never see

A typical English 40 something, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a vacation....

There’s been a hat meme running on TrekBBS. To be specific, a sombrero meme. You can get the...

Stolen from TrekBBS: kudos to poster Orac for photoshot...

Billboards you will never see

“Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience...”
— Rita Mae Brown (Or her cat?)

Soon after being transferred to a new duty station, my Marine husband called home to tell me he...

Billboards you will never see

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, ‘What a Great Chest you...

oops!

And to think they used to give away glassware...

Billboards you will never see

“I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and...”
— Will Rogers

Honeysuckle

Billboards you will never see

“Programming today is a race between software engineers...”
— Rick Cook

“Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be...”
— H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

Billboards you will never see

“If the human mind was simple enough to understand,...”
— Emerson Pugh

I think it’s time I took my car for a wash…

There’s a wonderful legend about Saint Francis, the kindly thirteenth century monk, who one...

Student: How was your blind date?
Room-mate: Terrible! He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.
Student: Wow! That's a very expensive classic car. What's so bad about that?
Room-mate: He was the original owner.

Billboards you will never see

“The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let...”
— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Best US presidential candidate: my friend...

And they accuse the church of being...

When you have five minutes, read this...

“I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.”
— W. C. Fields

A Sunday school teacher was examining her pupils after a series of lessons on God’s...

“God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness...”
— Paul Valery (1871 - 1945)

Some handy exercises for you

“Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.”
— Thomas Jones (1892 - 1969)

Things you wished you could say…

Things you wished you dared say…

Ponder This

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a...

The Italian government is considering installing a clock in the Leaning Tower of Pisa. The reason?...

Things you wish you dared say…

For those of you who have seen the light and forsaken IE7, today is Firefox download day. For those...

“Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that...”
— Loretta Young

Things you wish you dared say…

Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army...

Things you wish you dared say…

“The best way out is always through.”
— Robert Frost (1874 -...

A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. “What is it made of?” she...

“When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation,...”
— Henny Youngman

Things you wish you dared say…

Oops!

Sorry. Sorry sorry sorry. I missed yesterday. To those of you who know why life is less than...

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said ‘Today, in...

“There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to...”
— Bill Watterson

Coots will nest anywhere!

A Banbury senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off...

That's one way of keeping warm!

“The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time...”
— Rabindranath Tagore

Last night, I dreamed I was back in Manderley…

This is Milly in a basket

“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can...”
— John Wooden

This is Marmite (I think.) makes you realise how sick that...

Logos don’t always say what you mean…

Growing season!

A teacher entered her classroom and said, “We are going to have a test today, come rain or...

Growing season

“Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.”
— Jane Wagner

At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old,...

Yep, we're all barking

What every summer BBQ needs!

Logos don’t always say what you mean…

“A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.”
— Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971)

Sometime my garden can look quite nice

A man was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as...

The following notes from parents excusing their children from attending school have been around a...

Logos don’t always say what you mean…

“The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are...”
— George F. Will (1941 - )

“Success is not in what you have, but who you are.”
— Bo Bennett

I need some new jokes!

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was...

Happy Birthday Paddington Bear!

Logos don’t always say what you meant…

The young woman sat in her stalled car, waiting for help. Finally two men walked up to her....

Is this supposed to improve aim?

“In life, as in art, the beautiful moves in curves.”
— Robert Bulwer-Lytton

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your...”
— George Carlin

These three old ladies and their dogs were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when...

Dark Parachute Jumps

Nights in England are coal black, making parachute jumps difficult and dangerous. So we attach small...

Awww

“It is love, not reason, that is stronger than death.”
— Thomas Mann

Awww!

“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell...”
— Margaret Thatcher

Unfortunately, getting a new passport required a new photo. As I handed my ten-year-old passport and...

Clematis (?)

“It takes a great man to be a good listener.”
— Calvin Coolidge

Aww!

Two elderly women were fussing about their husbands over tea one day. “I do wish my Leroy...

“Love is not just looking at each other, it’s looking...”
— Antoine de Saint-Exupery

valerian

Awww

One day a man saw a old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he...

Stammerers Action group.

A very pretty young speech therapist was getting nowhere with her ‘Stammerers Action’ group. She had...

Awww!

Real Women

Delia’s Way Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream...

Lousy pic - my camera doesn’t like dark. The bbc were...

“The only place success comes before work is in the...”
— Vince Lombardi

Awww!

A pharmacy major was taking a course in Dispensing. One day they were discussing the various labels...

Spar lane

An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends, and he took along a few pictures to show...

Awww