RevdKathy's Scrapbook

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.

Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn’t stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, ‘I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this.

Whose funeral is it?’ ‘My wife’s. ”What happened to her?’

The man replied, ‘My dog attacked and killed her’

He inquired further, ‘But who is in the second hearse?’

The man answered, ‘My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.’

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.

‘Can I borrow the dog?’

The man replied, ‘Get in line.’

Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna. suddenly there was a beeping sound.. The young woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped.

The others looked at her questioningly.
‘That was my pager,’ she said. ‘I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.’

A few minutes later, a phone rang. Rhe second young woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, ‘That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.’

The older woman felt very low -tech. not to be out done, she decided she had to do something just as impressive.
She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end.

The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.

The older woman finally said……… ‘well, will you look at that….I’m getting a fax!!’

RT @PeterMaemo: Daily Telegraph on #N900: “having a computer in your pocket just moved a big step closer.” http://bit.ly/34R5tH I want one!

I was driving my father and grandfather down a rough country road. My inexperience in handling Grandpa’s four-wheel-drive vehicle made for a particularly bouncy ride. Embarrassed, I offered a lame excuse, “The sun shadows through the trees make it hard for me to see all the potholes.”

“Don’t worry, Matt,” Grandpa said. “You’re gettin’ most of ‘em.”

So that was my holiday...

It’s over - last night of the holiday: work in the morning. So no log fire tonight (shame) and no beer. Got to be up bright and early for work tomorrow.

I didn’t get any of the things I planned done. But oddly, I feel ok about it.

I didn’t go anywhere exciting this break: I considered a week in Tunisia again, but decided to forgo that in favour of working on the thesis. As things turned out, most of the plans I had failed. I managed some work, but not the stuff I’d planned. Nonetheless, I find myself with ethics approval granted and arranging dates to interview selected victims for qualitative analysis. The proposal document is with the tutor, awaiting feedback, and although I’m not proud of it, I hope I’ve got a better idea now than the previous items I submitted. Pending feedback, I shall post the presentation. Meanwhile, my profile forms are coming into Longreach for me on Monday, the sound system is charged up for recording and I have the first three victims who’ve agreed and are sorting dates.

In return for not going anywhere, I ordered myself a new toy. It didn’t turn up (thanks Nokia) so I still have that to look forward to.

So what did I do with my seven days?

I had lunch twice with my sister - posh food and fancy puddings. Murph and I took in a few nice walks, and I did a pile of Christmas shopping. I tidied the desk and cleared out the dining room (so I can have guests for Christmas lunch!) And I sorted through and either trashed or finished all the available knitting, so my world is clear ready for focussing on the thesis when it starts. And I drank a fair amount of tea at my Aunt and Uncles.

So that was my autumn break. I shall take a couple of single days before Christmas, one for shopping and one for study. Then I shall have a week off at Christmas for a mix of rest and study.

The good bit is that I have relaxed. I feel a whole lot less stressed than I did a week ago. The stress of the study is pretty tough, but I keep reminding myself that it’s only 6 months, and with luck and a fair wind I shall be MSc by the summer. The stress of work is a whole different ball game - constant, unending and nothing to look forward to.

Mind the pile of rewards I have planned for the summer (ranging from eye surgery to test match tickets, via redecorating the stairs and enough knitting to clothe the county) will destroy my savings!